Happy Damned New Year, Damn It!

Well. A total of three blog posts during this fine year of 2010. The first one was bemoaning what a sucktastic year 2009 was, and making threats about how this year was going to shake out. Turns out 2010 sucked large as well in many ways, but of course it had its good parts. I will say, I did stick to my plan pretty well. Too well, some might say. I've ruffled some feathers, possibly alienated one or two.

But, I've also made new friends. A lot of virtual friends on Facebook, several of whom I hope to meet in person soon, since they're not that far away. A few that I'll probably never meet, but still value highly.

Best of all, I've found a job. Not just a job, but one that I love. Working for and with people who appreciate and trust me, and I cannot tell you what a great feeling that is. Mark that on the plus side.

On the negative side, there were quite a few things. I don't even want to go into them. If you know me at all, you know what they were. If you don't know me that well, you wouldn't find it interesting. And it's all water under the proverbial bridge now. Buh bye, 2010.

This year I'm doing something out of character - making resolutions setting goals and putting them in writing. This list will be edited and added to during the coming days as I refine a plan, but here's the gist of it:

1. Spend less time on Facebook and more time blogging. Facebook is a land of sound bites and quips that disappear as quickly as they're written down. I need to start writing for myself, and hopefully it will entertain other people as well.
• Regarding Facebook: realize more often that not everything needs a response or reply, no matter how clever it sounds in my head. Plus, if you don't comment or "like" your notifications are fewer. Less clutter.
• Refrain as much as possible from the cryptic status update. It gets old, fast.
2. Take better care of myself. Exercise is key, that has to start happening right away. Eating less, drinking less, sleeping more, all that good shit. I'm not 25 anymore. The body is going to give out if I don't straighten up.
3. Throw.Shit.Out. I've done some, but have to ramp it up to full steam ahead. Toss shit, donate shit, organize shit. Seriously. It's reached critical mass.
4. Get my finances in order. Dire subject. Don't want to talk about it and kill my buzz right now.
5. Try to accept things for what they are and take it one day at a time. This is the killer. There are things and relationships in my life that are super frustrating, and it's so hard to just sit back and let life happen. I'm a bit of a control freak, and need to work at letting go. And along with that...
6. Try to not read a subtext into every interaction or lack of it. As of today, that's still a pretty large problem for me, and I need to work hard on it. 
7. Stop the constant self-deprecating "humor." The subconscious seems to be listening in and suffering for it. I'm not a stand-up comedian, I don't need to do self-deprecating jokes.

So there you have it. In writing so I have witnesses. May this year bring us all peace, love and understanding.

The Retail Excesses Awards, Friday night edition

What could it possibly hurt to go to Home Depot and Costco on a Friday night? I mean, I'm tired, I'll just get what I need and hurry home. Right?

Not so fast, my friend. You have to factor in the Payday Effect, plus the I Have Gift Cards To Home Depot paradigm, and it becomes a perfect storm of excess.

Home Depot was at least practical. A new, much needed lamp for the living room. A combination lock-box for a spare key. A timer for the porch light. All will improve my quality of life.

The Definitely Need New Lightbulbs Award

Costco? Not so much. Sure, there's the new rug for inside the front door. Economical, attractive and practical. Antihistamines, melatonin, a bottle of wine. No big deal. But then the madness begins...

The Grape Expectations Award

Four pounds of grapes. I'm pretty sure I'll eat them all, but still. Four pounds for one person.

The Holy Mormon Pantry Award

Six hearts of romaine. SIX. That's a lot of lettuce. Chances of this all getting eaten before going to Veggie Hell? 50/50 at best.

The I Promise To Take My Lunch To Work Award

Twenty-four sandwich thins. Pretty sure they'll all get eaten - this is not my first go-round with these. They must be filled with preservatives, since they keep a long time.

The Ounce of Prevention Award

Yes indeed, that's a lot of D3. I'm not going to let the shortening days kill my mood completely!

The Ulterior Motives Award

And last, but far from least, the full case of Coronas. That's what I use to lure unsuspecting men into my lair. But don't tell anyone...

Happy Freakin' New Year

For most people I know, 2009 was not a banner year. In fact, not even an acceptable year. I'm happy to see its taillights going around that far curve.

I'm tired. Tired of being played, tired of being lied to, tired of all the bullshit. This year, you may not like me. You may not like my attitude, you may not like what you hear. But that's okay. If you don't like it, you can just keep on moving and leave me be. Don't blow any sunshine up my skirt, don't tell me what you think I want to hear.

Seriously. 2010 may not be all that much kinder than 2009 was. But goddamnit, it will be a more honest year. Brace yourselves.