New and Improved!

Thanks to Pundit Kitchen.

I almost wish he'd do it

Thanks to the Hartford Advocate.

President Elect Barack Obama's Victory Speech

Full remarks as prepared for delivery and provided by the campaign of Sen. Barack Obama on Nov. 4, 2008, at Grant Park in Chicago, IL.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you've sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to: it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didn't do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor's bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it's been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it's that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, "We are not enemies, but friends & though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection." And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too. And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope. For that is the true genius of America that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that's on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. She's a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn't vote for two reasons because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she's seen throughout her century in America the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can't, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women's voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that "We Shall Overcome." Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change.

Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can.

Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America

If only I could sing...

I've always wanted to sing, but as far as I can tell, the sounds that come out of my mouth when I attempt to sing are cruel and unusual punishment for the unwary souls that wander by. It's just a hunch, no one has actually complained. Probably because I do not sing in front of anyone.

But if I COULD sing, I'd join the ranks of those who are making these wonderful political song parodies. Like this one:



Instead, I'll just post them whenever and wherever I can, in hopes of bringing joy to the masses. It distracts me from fretting about the chance that this horrid woman could be our vice president, and one heartbeat away from president.

Oh, and get out and vote!

This is where the magic happens

Saturday I made my way downtown to the Obama campaign headquarters to get my yard sign. Yeah, I know, but better late than never.

There was a lot of activity, looked like they might be setting up for a speaker of some kind. Lots of clusters of people talking, each with handfuls of papers and flyers.

After telling the nice ladies at the front table what I was there for, one handed me a sign, and had me fill out the donation paperwork. After inquiring if I'd also like some bumper-stickers, I told her no thanks, I already had one, and added that I haven't put a bumper sticker on my vehicle since some time back in the '70's.

She said, me neither. And now I have three of them on my car.

I told her I had never put up a yard sign for anyone in my life.

She said, me neither.

I told her I'd never even ventured into a campaign office of any type, for any reason before.

She said, me neither.

Turns out both of the women working the front desk (both in their sixties) have never, ever volunteered for a candidate in their lives before Mr. Obama came along. And they seem to be loving every minute of it

Talk about a candidate for CHANGE! I love this guy more with each passing day.

Because I'm lame like that...

The best I can offer you is this post from Cajun Boy. Seriously, why waste your time checking on my blog, when you could be reading his?

(Fifty bonus points if you can watch all of the redneck video towards the bottom. I sure as hell can't. The only thing worse than an ignorant redneck is a DRUNK ignorant redneck. Ye gods.)

Is you serious?

So Tina Fey is a sexist. Huh. Who knew?

The only Palin I'd ever vote for

A friend of mine shared this, and it actually made me squeal with glee. (Spare me your sarcastic comments, please.)

I think changing the citizenship requirements for presidential elections may be our only hope.

I never thought I'd see the day...

...when P. Diddy (or whatever the hell he's calling himself now) would provide the best political commentary in this year's election coverage. Check out the sidebar to the left if you've been living under a rock and haven't heard this clip yet. The complete video is here, but that sound bite is The. Best. Part.

Thanks to Cajun Boy for the best laugh I've had in months!

More word association

Because I'm much too lazy to actually write anything, here we go again.

1. Concentration :: camp


2. Relocated :: Jews (sorry, see #1)
   


3. Clot :: blood


4. Joints :: aching


5. Satellite :: office


6. Money back :: guarantee


7. Kittens :: delicious


8. Shady :: Slim


9. Drain :: clogged
   


10. Stroke :: of genius!

Be sure to blame Unconscious Mutterings for this.

Free Association

This new exercise in free association was recommended by my friend Lisa, and is courtesy of Unconscious Mutterings. Lord knows I could use some psychoanalysis right now, so let's give it a whirl.

1. Questioning :: Everything


2. Immunity :: No one has it
   


3. Online dating :: Scary


4. Calcium :: Bones


5. Dressing :: Salad


6. Bucket :: Walrus


7. Stain :: Talking


8. Advanced :: Retreated


9. Dramatic :: Queen
   


10. Self-medication :: Necessary

Well, no real breakthroughs there. Perhaps I'll try again later.

So you want to be a daddy...

So now we have a pregnant man. (Just a hint, if you haven't read the article, this blog won't interest you in the slightest. Hell, it may not even if you HAVE read the article.)

Hey, who am I to judge? Just because I don't particularly like kids, and refuse to have any of my own doesn't mean I don't understand that some people want them.

What I'm really having a problem with here is the flak that these people are getting. The endocrinologist who treated Mr. Beattie was unconscionably rude. "Shave off your facial hair." OK, do you also give that directive to the females you treat? Let's face it, some of us women have WAY more facial hair than half the guys around us.

The response *he got from his brother was abominable. How can you say that to another human being, much less your own brother?

What the hell is wrong with people? Why can we not live and let live? So you don't want to be a trans-gender man giving birth? Don't get a sex change and don't get inseminated. It's pretty easy, really.

*Yes, I shall continue to refer to him as "he" even though he has his female plumbing. He lives as a he. He is a male. Thy ovaries do not make thee a woman. And the lack of a dick does NOT mean you're not a man.

Hey kids, it's time for Easter Shopping!

Ah yes, it's that time of year again. Easter. Second only to Christmas now in its blatant commercialism. Well no, actually Mother's Day probably tops it, but not by much.

I seem to remember (though it's been many, many eons ago) that in my youth, Easter wasn't much. We weren't a religious family, so unless my Grandma or aunt drug me to church, there wasn't any of that crap. My grandma always made me an astonishing easter basket full of goodies, and there may have been a family dinner at her house. In fact, I'm sure of it, there was dinner.

But there were no out and out gifts. Easter was supposed to be a religious holiday, THE religious holiday for Christians, so the basket and candy was about the extent of it for this kid.

But NOW? Holy crap, if you'll pardon the expression. The ads have been clogging up the Sunday paper for weeks. Pages and pages of clothing: well, that's standard. But also pages and pages of toys and gifts. With perky titles like "Just in Time For Your Easter Gift Giving!" and rot such as that. What the hell? When did this most "sacred" of holidays become an occasion for gift giving?

Don't look at me, I'm certainly not buying you anything.

Eddie says it best:

So Sue Me

Obviously I'm a big fat liar. I promised I'd post a new blog soon. Well, that's the thing with promises, they're stupid.

No more promises.

But, I will try to write something soon that entertains and/or doesn't make you slap yourself on the forehead and mutter "why do I keep checking this bitch's blog?"

Wow, where did the time go?

I really didn't think it had been that long since I blogged. But the last date says January 22, 2008. Blog for choice day. A worthy event, for sure, but why haven't I written anything since? Hmmm.

I'll figure this out and get back to you. Soon, I promise.

Blog for Choice Day - An Important Anniversary

Today is the 35th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, and after all these years we are still not assured of retaining control of our reproductive rights.

Several of the current presidential candidates would like to reverse that decision, and throw away what so many have worked so long to accomplish, simply because of their own religious beliefs.

We've grown complacent, evidently believing that common sense and justice will prevail.

We should know better.

So-called pro-life advocates are working overtime to get this ruling overturned, and they are not complacent. They are driven tirelessly by their personal belief that everyone must embrace their personal belief.

They don't understand that few people are PRO-abortion. Abortion is ugly, painful, unimaginable. But is it better to insist that a 14 year old girl have her baby, put her health at risk, her education at risk? Sure she can give it up for adoption. But ask yourself: how easy would it be to carry a pregnancy to term -- nine months of growing a living being inside you -- go through the pain of childbirth, and then hand that living being over to complete strangers?

Obviously it doesn't work, or we wouldn't be informed so often on the nightly news that yet another infant has been found in a dumpster. Or worse.

Today is Blog for Choice day, a way for us to make a unified statement that we do not want to return to the dark days of back-alley abortions and unwanted children. A unified statement that abortion is a personal decision.

Roe vs. Wade ensures our right to privacy regarding our bodies. Those who want to invade that privacy should be ashamed.

Maybe I should stop making a big deal about turning 50

EVERYbody Dance Now

This video pleases me beyond description. How come Eugene doesn't have cool broadcasts like this?



But wait, there's more!

How cold is it?

A friend of mine just used the expression "colder than a witch's tittie" and was wondering where that saying came from. Which reminded me of my favorite descriptive phrase regarding cold that's a compilation of a several such sayings:

• Colder than a witch's tit.
• Colder than a ditch digger's ass.
• Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

"It's colder than a witch digger's brass monkey."

Even though it was about 25-30 years ago, I'm still using that one after hearing it on Mork and Mindy. For the infants among you, that was an ancient sitcom starring Robin Williams as the charming alien Mork. Classic stuff there. Click on the link if you want to see a really lame fan site.

OK, first blog of 2008. At least it's not a crocodile with a hand in its mouth.