Meh. Give me a challenge that requires sticking with something for 30 days in a row, and what will I do? Eff it up after only four. Really? Is it that goddamned hard to post some inconsequential piece of shit once a day? Especially when the supposed "author" is unemployed?
Maybe if I wouldn't stay up until all hours and then sleep until ten or eleven I'd have more motivation. More of a sense of self-worth. And it's not like I don't have plenty to do. I have ditches to fill, destruction to complete, insulation to install, boxes to empty, shit to put away. Design work to do, resumes to update - need I go on?
So what is this? Depression? Most likely, but what's new. I live with that each and every day. And I'm actually pretty happy. Sure, I'm living in a trailer on my mom's property. I'm actually happy with that. I thought I might have panic attacks and claustrophobia issues, but thus far everything's fine. So what the hell is going on? How do I kick myself in the ass and start LIVING?
Any (sincere and/or marginally kind) suggestions will be appreciated.
1 comment:
I worked with a guy who never got much done in his personal life. He always said/thought that when he retired he would do A and B and C. I had lunch with him after he'd been laid off about 6 months, and he said it didn't bode well for his retirement ... he was sitting on his ass watching TV all day, every day.
Motivating yourself can be tough. Don't dwell on whether you can make it happen every single day. *Today* is a new chance to write that blog entry, paint that room, go for that walk, etc.
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