Meh. Give me a challenge that requires sticking with something for 30 days in a row, and what will I do? Eff it up after only four. Really? Is it that goddamned hard to post some inconsequential piece of shit once a day? Especially when the supposed "author" is unemployed?
Maybe if I wouldn't stay up until all hours and then sleep until ten or eleven I'd have more motivation. More of a sense of self-worth. And it's not like I don't have plenty to do. I have ditches to fill, destruction to complete, insulation to install, boxes to empty, shit to put away. Design work to do, resumes to update - need I go on?
So what is this? Depression? Most likely, but what's new. I live with that each and every day. And I'm actually pretty happy. Sure, I'm living in a trailer on my mom's property. I'm actually happy with that. I thought I might have panic attacks and claustrophobia issues, but thus far everything's fine. So what the hell is going on? How do I kick myself in the ass and start LIVING?
Any (sincere and/or marginally kind) suggestions will be appreciated.